Minor Ramifications of the New Dress Code
Sivan Livnat
AJA’s new dress code has seamlessly spread into the AJA culture, except for a few minor ramifications. From least to most significant, here’s how the dress code has made a difference both in school and out.
The dress code has made major waves online. Amazon is reporting that collared shirt sales have increased by 200% for men and women’s clothes. After researching where the most collared shirts come from, Amazon found that 99.99% of all collared shirts bought on Amazon were shipped to Georgia. Apparently, the amount of fake collars bought on Amazon in the past few months by Georgia residents is more than the past ten years combined. In a statement, Amazon announced that the avalanche of orders has forced it to cancel the company’s famous one-day shipping policy until further notice. The suspension of one of Amazon’s most popular features has sent the company’s stock plummeting. Over the past week on Wall Street, shares of Amazon have dropped over 18%.
AJA girls have opened an official inquiry to determine “How tight is too tight for a skirt.” Additional topics under scrutiny include the exact length required to meet standards of modesty. The investigation remains ongoing, and the knee region has emerged as a key player in witness testimony. Until any new evidence is brought, girls will continue searching — for the answer, for the truth, and for modesty. “Knee-length skirts” are being searched for at absurd levels as well. AJA students remember when their internet crashed due to the overflow of the same question.
Many girls have experienced significant struggles when it comes to wearing knee-length skirts. Urgent Care clinics around Atlanta have reported girls coming in to deal with knee chafing problems. It is estimated that over two-thirds of the AJA girls now suffer from the pain of knee chafings every day. The outbreak has stumped experts at the CDC, who have no answers as to the danger this outbreak poses to the broader population of Atlanta. Doctors have suggested wearing volleyball knee pads to protect the knees. For girls who do not own knee pads, doctors suggest they color their knees with Sharpies to convince the passing eye that the skirt extends a bit lower than it truly does. It does not help with the chafings, but at least their knees are concealed from the watchful eyes of teachers. The pungent aroma of smelly knee pads and Sharpies may cloud the school, but at least the knees are hidden from sight.
A caveat to the rule of wearing knee-length skirts is that knees only have to be covered when standing. Another rule is that only female teachers are allowed to dress-code girls. Therefore, many girls who wear skirts a bit above the knee drop to the ground when they see a female teacher. As long as they remain on the floor in this fetal-like position, they are safe from discipline. The administration has yet to find a way to combat this new bizarre technique of avoiding being dress-coded which has been coined “stop, drop, and cover.”
The Union of High School Yearbook Editors is calling on AJA to revise its new dress code. The UHSYE complained that the variety of colors worn by students adds unnecessary complexity to the yearbook creation process. While in past years, matching colored tops allowed the AJA Yearbook Editors to easily develop a suitable color scheme. Now, the array of hues in the pictures makes it all but impossible to create an aesthetically pleasing design. The UHSYE warns that if a solution to the problem isn’t found in the coming weeks, it will have no choice but to call for a statewide strike. The UHSYE has already rejected an offer from AJA to print all yearbooks in black and white.
There is one ramification far more severe than the rest: Students are more modest inside and outside of school. Knee-length skirts during the week became knee-length skirts on the weekends. Collared shirts during the week led to trendy collared shirts on Shabbat and Sunday. Boys wearing pants is a common sight. No midriffs are shown outside of school. No knees are flaunted. Tzniut has improved community-wide, all thanks to the dress code.
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