Eliana Goldin
When Mr. Levovitz, the JQY presenter, asked us to think of a few words to describe ourselves, “curious,” “self-aware,” and “honest” immediately popped into my mind. I subsequently found it very unsettling when he then told us that we were probably thinking of descriptors such as “female” or “gay.”
Let’s stop making identity about shallow, artificial labels, like the JQY presentation tried to promote. My gender nor my sexual orientation nor the color of my hair define who I am. In fact, even my Judaism doesn’t define me. What does define me regarding Judaism is the way I relate to it — the perspective I carry because I believe everyone was created b’tzelem elokim (in the image of G-d), the eagerness with which I tackle Jewish texts, the comforting sense of community I experience when I’m immersed in a shul’s beautiful Lecha Dodi on Erev Shabbat.
Most of you know me, and I’m sure that before the word “gay” comes to your mind, you think something along the lines of “plays the obnoxious mini piano while I’m trying to study,” “too political for my liking,” or “can’t dribble to the right side of the court.” There’s no reason for a surface-level label to pop into your head because that label alone doesn’t say anything about me. If “gay” does happen to be first, then I’m afraid you’ve been conditioned to see people’s identities not as their character traits and values, but as titles without any insight into what these titles mean to the person.
One more thing: Don’t be a hypocrite. I’ve noticed that often, the same people in our school who passionately argue that we need to be open-minded and accept others regardless of their differences are the same people who have trouble accepting those who are passionately Orthodox. In other words, those who champion acceptance often find it difficult to accept those who reject certain liberal values of equality due to their understanding of Torah prohibitions. If you want to think of yourself as a true open-minded liberal, then you need to accept the people who think that gay marriage and intercourse is a sin. Ideological diversity is diversity too.
Likewise, the presentation went south when they told the student body to be more accepting. It’s not okay to tell people they need to be accepting of something that they don’t believe in. In doing so, they engage in the ultimate irony: they have become the ones who are not accepting. They’re essentially saying, “I get to choose what we should be accepting about,” and that inherently excludes. Please, practice what you preach.
“I’ve noticed that the same people in our school who passionately argue that we need to be open-minded and accept others regardless of their differences are often the same people who have trouble accepting those who are passionately Orthodox.”
I enjoyed the differences of opinion that were clearly present in the room during the JQY presentation. I think we should approach dialogue with the idea in mind that someone might think you are completely wrong and that is totally okay because human beings disagree. If we can do that as a community, then I couldn’t ask for anything more.
Finally, because I couldn’t not say it, if you’re struggling with your “identity” — as I think we have incorrectly labeled it — I would love to talk to you. I can’t guarantee any wisdom (I spent all last year trying to figure myself out, and it turns out that’s an impossible task), but I can guarantee you that I’m a superb listener and care about what you have to say. My email is 20egoldin@atljewishacademy.org. Don’t hesitate to reach out.
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